It's no FUN awakening during the night with a racing mind that can't be turned off !
Anxiety-ridden rumination is another travesty I have experienced from sexual abuse; I wish I could just unplug myself and go back to sleep !
I've always been hypervigilant since I can remember a conscious thought; I would love to be relaxed and casual about my environment but I am programmed to be ready for assault from any angle.
I ask God on a daily basis to reveal all the hidden darkness and woundedness in me, to heal me, cleanse me, cure me and make me more like Jesus. He has a plan that I don't always comprehend . . . again I must surrender to His love and trust His path for me.
It is a humbling and glorious experience all bundled up in this complex and churning mind !